Raccoons, Do They Visit You?
Waking up each morning is a gift. Sometimes, dreams influence whether we wake up in a good or bad mood. Then again, there are times when unexpected events force us to wake up abruptly. One such event involves wild critters. There are many wild animals to consider. Imagine a bear bursting through your door for food, or a deer or boar causing mischief in your house. But what about those critters that make a home in your roof or basement? I'm talking about raccoons. They are beautiful creatures, yet they can be some of the noisiest intruders when they get into your home.
It all started on the morning of Christmas Eve 2022. It was just shy of 4:30 AM. I was asleep in bed with my wife cuddled up to my back. She likes to snuggle up against me, which I enjoy because it keeps my back warm on those cold winter mornings. This particular morning was frigid, with single-digit temperatures outside. There was no snow, but it felt like there could have been three feet of it on the ground.
Suddenly, there was a thunderous crash in the bathroom. It sounded like breaking glass and objects being thrown around, as if animals were shattering and falling, fighting their way out of whatever was holding them. My wife and I were both freaked out. I had lost both my lower legs a couple of years earlier, so getting around quickly was difficult for me. There was another loud crash from the bathroom. My wife, shivering and clinging to me, was starting to panic, but the noise began to calm down. Then, suddenly, it erupted in our bedroom, just across from the bathroom door.
My wife turned over, switched on the bedroom lights, and screamed. Not knowing what she was screaming about, I turned as far as I could and saw not one, not two, but three raccoons in the far corner of the room. The smallest of them stood about three feet tall on its hind legs. It seemed they had been staying in the rafters and had fallen through the ceiling. One raccoon stood on top of the air conditioner, looking out the window and trying to find a way outside. I yelled, "OH MY!" and sat up in what felt like a single move. I quickly put on my leg liners and prosthetic legs. Grabbing my handgun, I thought this might be dinner tonight, which my wife did not appreciate. Her son heard the commotion and came in to see what was happening. I showed him the raccoons, and he hurried to his room to grab a sword and a golf club.
We decided to try to corral the raccoons into the toy room and get them out through the window, hopefully safely. We began to move them when one of the critters got past us and returned to the bathroom. My son-in-law positioned himself in front of the commode, and we started talking to the raccoon. It slowly moved past me and went into the toy room, ignoring the open window and hiding in a far corner under a tote full of toys.
After about twenty minutes of making noise and beating on things with a crutch and golf club, we got the other two raccoons moving into the toy room. They both found the open window and went outside. My son-in-law and I moved some things out of the way and finally coaxed the remaining raccoon through the window and out into the cold. The whole ordeal took us an hour and ten minutes to resolve. That was a morning I never want to relive.
The initial sound of crashing was startling. It wasn’t just a thud or a bump; it was a cacophony of breaking glass and objects clattering as if a tornado had hit our bathroom. The sound jarred us from a deep sleep, instantly filling us with adrenaline. In those moments, it's hard to comprehend what could be causing such chaos. My mind raced through possibilities: a burglar, an earthquake, maybe even some kind of explosion. But the reality was far more bizarre.
Living in Texas, we are accustomed to various wildlife encounters. However, having raccoons crash through our ceiling and invade our bedroom was a new experience. These critters, often seen rummaging through trash cans or darting across the road at night, had become uninvited guests in our home. Raccoons are intelligent and curious animals. Their nimble hands can open doors, jars, and even locks, making them formidable intruders once they decide to explore human habitats.
The sight of my wife turning on the lights and screaming will forever be etched in my memory. She's usually calm and collected, so her reaction spoke volumes about the shock and fear she felt. As I twisted around to see what had caused her alarm, I was equally stunned. Three raccoons, each seemingly as surprised as we were, stood in the corner of our bedroom. The smallest one, standing on its hind legs, looked almost human-like in its posture, adding to the surreal nature of the scene.
Reacting quickly, I managed to put on my prosthetic legs with a speed I didn't think was possible. My disability often slows me down, but in this situation, adrenaline took over. I armed myself, ready to defend our home if necessary. My wife's son, a brave and resourceful young man, armed himself with a sword and a golf club. Together, we formed an unlikely team, ready to face the raccoon invasion.
We devised a plan to herd the raccoons into the toy room and out through the window. The plan seemed simple enough, but executing it was another matter. These raccoons were not only agile but also determined to avoid capture. One raccoon managed to evade us and dart back into the bathroom. We followed it, trying to coax it out gently. My son-in-law positioned himself strategically, ready to guide the raccoon towards the open window.
Communication was key. We spoke softly to the raccoon, trying to calm it down and guide it in the right direction. It's surprising how much a calm voice can influence an animal’s behavior. Slowly but surely, the raccoon moved past us and into the toy room, choosing to hide rather than escape. This added another layer of complexity to our task.
For twenty minutes, we made noise, tapped on surfaces, and used the golf club and crutch to create a path towards the window. The two other raccoons, sensing the commotion, eventually followed the noise and found their way out. The last raccoon, still hiding, took a bit more effort. We had to move toys and other items to clear a path. Finally, with a bit of coaxing and gentle prodding, we managed to guide it out the window into the cold morning air.
The experience was a reminder of the unpredictability of life. Despite the initial fear and chaos, we managed to handle the situation without harming the raccoons. It was a team effort that required quick thinking, patience, and a bit of courage. Reflecting on that morning, I am grateful for the outcome but also hopeful that such an event never happens again.
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